It has been a week since I found out that I am pregnant. Since then I have pretty much told the world. I thought a lot about waiting, but honestly I was so excited that I didn't think that I could keep it in any longer! I was never cautious when I was pregnant with Lilli, Hope or Jacob. I told everyone right away, but in May when I found out I was pregnant I became very cautious about telling people. In my mind I knew that it was something different for me. I think my intuition was keenly aware that it wasn't going to last. So, when Chris and I decided to start trying again I told myself that when I became pregnant again I would throw caution to the wind and let it out right away. I realize that something could still happen. I know that I could have just told everyone and be hurt if I lose this baby, but I've decided that this baby, no matter how long or short of a life it has ahead of it, deserves to be praised as the blessing that it is.
I am determined to be excited until I have a reason not to be excited. This is not to say that I don't have my concerns. I worry, but I am trying to be positive. I've taken about 8 pregnancy tests, which keep getting darker, which makes me feel better. I went on Tuesday, August 14th to have blood work done. So far my hormone levels are where they are supposed to be. My midwife, Jonnie, wants to recheck my levels next week to be sure that they continue to go up. Until then all of my fingers and toes will be crossed and I will be saying lots of prayers.
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