It's been a while...

In May I found out I was pregnant. I was very excited and happily expecting #4. Unfortunately at 6.5 weeks (5-24-12) I miscarried our little angel. Chris and I were devastated. The whole experience was unforgettable and more difficult than I would have imagined it to be. At the appointment that was supposed to be my 8 week check up (my first OB appointment) Chris and I went in to discuss our options for moving forward. My Midwife strongly suggested that I allow my body to fully heal itself by waiting for 2 monthly cycles before getting pregnant again. I was very disappointed at the prospect of waiting that long, but I wanted to do what was best for our family. I wanted to give myself the best chance of getting pregnant and staying pregnant. So, Chris and I made the decision to listen to our Midwife and wait. Luckily my first period came right on time about 4 weeks after the miscarriage, which gave us a good idea as to when we would be able to start trying again.

One month passed as we busied ourselves with summer activities. Then before we knew it the second month passed and it was time to try again. We were determined not to put too much pressure on ourselves and to not make it a stressful thing. So, we didn't talk about trying. We didn't talk about when it was time. We just let nature take its course.

I'll be honest, I tried so hard to be patient. I tried so hard not to stress myself out about if I was or was not pregnant, and for the most part I was successful. I was resigned to be happy with whatever the outcome. Despite the logical side of me that knows that its best to wait to take a test until you miss your period or at the very least right before you miss your period I wanted to take one as soon as the box said it was possible to get a positive. So, on 8-7 I convinced myself to take a test.....of course it being 6 days before my period it was NEGATIVE.... I was ok. I figured it would be. I allowed myself to take one on 8-8, because 5 days before didn't seem too terribly early, and of course it was again negative. I made myself wait until this morning, 8-9 4 days before my missed period.

So, this morning I popped out of bed. Rushed to the bathroom and waited for my results. At first it looked very negative, but then I looked closer with my Sherlock Holmes eye and there was the faintest of faint lines. In that moment I knew. I must have looked at that test 100 times trying to convince myself that I wasn't imagining that I saw the second line. I knew I wasn't crazy. I knew what it meant. I knew that I saw it. So, I told Chris, and about 4 hours after I took the first test I took another. After only 4 hours the line got darker and was definitely there! Definitely visible!!!

So, today I am PREGNANT!!! And I am so excited. I have never felt more blessed. I know that it's early, and that I need to be careful, because things could still go wrong, but today I have decided not to stress myself out about things I can't control and just enjoy every minute that I am allowed to enjoy the blessing that is this 5th pregnancy, and hopefully baby #4!!!!!